Ahhh…the Porkgasm

Better than sex

Better than sex

What’s better than a real pig, smoked over a fire pit for 12 hours? Naturally, a large glob of various meats formed into the shape of a pig. Complete with organs and everything. The guys over at porktopia.com posted one awesome, albeit gnarly looking pork creation. This is probably one of the grossest looking, yet strangely appetizing things I’ve ever had the privilege to lay my eyes on. Click on through for the full description of how to make one, along with tons of pics. Happy Meating!

Get all the freak nasty details here.

This One Goes Out to All My Hawaiian Homies…

All Hail Spam!

All Hail Spam!

For those that enjoy your meat from a can and enjoy a little background music while you eat, the makers of every Hawaiians favorite meat in a can product have got you covered….

SPAM Music Jukebox

These songs don’t actually make me want to go out and by some SPAM, but I must admit I actually found myself grooving to a few of these delicious licks.

Crank it up and dig in!

Pancakons – Breakfast of Kings

The mighty Pancakon

The mighty Pancakon

For me Thursday is just the day that stands between me and Friday (which is the gateway to the weekend) that I just try to get through as fast as possible.  Usually, Thursday’s are very low-key and really nothing special.

Until this past Thursday.  That day I was greeted with a tasty and unexpected treat as I arrived at work in the morning.  Sitting on my desk was a small mini-muffin.  Usually I am very wary of unexpected food showing up at my desk first thing in the morning but as my mind tried to make sense of what I found, my nose began to pick up the delicious aroma of bacon.

Like most males I have a deep weakness for bacon.

So, I picked it up, looked it over, and discovered that indeed bacon was topping this little muffin.  It took me about two seconds to figure out that only one person would have come up with this unique bacon delivery system – themeatsweats.com founder Rocky B.

I was informed, by the genius himself, that what I was holding was a “Pancakon”.

What’s a Pancakon you ask?

A Pancakon is one part pancake, one part caramel icing with maple syrup topping, and one part applewood bacon crumbles.  All delivered in a mini-muffin cup for easy handling – especially for those people trying to make it to morning meetings and neglected breakfast.

How did it taste?

It was delicious.  It tasted like a regular full pancake breakfast with all the fixings, except it was portable and easy to eat on the go. A side benefit of the Pancakon was the great smell that it left in the air – as if you just woke up to your mom making you a hearty breakfast to start the day.

I give the Pancakon an enthusiastic “thumbs up”. Especially for those people on the go who don’t want to mess around with those cardboard tasting breakfast bars or the run-of-the-mill bagels, but would rather enjoy the taste of a complete breakfast like mom used to make.

My only gripe about the Pancakon – I only had one to try as all the other samples were gone by the time I returned from my meeting.

Hopefully Rocky will share his recipe for the Pancakon in a future post so that others may benefit from his tasty genius.

The lunch gun

Patton Oswalt’s dream has come true.  The lunch gun is now a reality.  Sure it says it’s for making jerky but you could load this thing with any meat product and just fire it right into your mouth hole.

finally!

finally!

Go here and stock up for Christmas.

Meat Madness

What goes better with March Madness than meat?  Nothing is the correct answer.  Meat is superior to all other foods for sports watching.  No sports bar advertises 50 high def big screen tvs and the biggest salad bar in town.  That would be stupid and the place wouldn’t be open more than a month.  Sports and meat go together like steak and more steak.

ESPN has decided that a March Madness meat bracket is in order. I won’t give away the winner but I will say that the Chicken Wing gets robbed. Chicken Tails? Who eats that?  Who decided eating the ass of a chicken was a good idea?  Wings are like the stubby little legs of angels coated in delicious sauces of your choosing.

The bracket is correct about one thing however, Filet Mignon is perennially overrated. It looks delicious and meaty and wonderful and then you take a bite and you wait for the deliciousness to punch you in the face and all you get is a gentle nudge in the arm like you were just punched by an invalid. Then you realize for the price of this half assed 8 oz filet you could have had a giant ribeye, the steak champion (if anyone tells you different they are a communist).  Steak au Poivre only exists because filet is so useless you have to coat it in cracked peppercorns and then eat it with a sauce made of liquor just so you have something to taste.  Cooking with liquor makes anything better.   To clarify: Filet = invalid grandmother punch, Ribeye = A baseball bat of awesomeness right to your face.

So enjoy the NCAA tournament and if your bracket has fallen apart like mine go grill something and let your salty tears rain down and season the meat like so many missed 3 pointers.

Oh No They Didn’t….

Who said God took a rib from Adam? It was a slab of bacon!!!

Who said God took a rib from Adam? It was a slab of bacon!!!

Sexy or Sinful?

Sexy or Sinful?

Here at themeatsweats.com, we’re all about the love of meat, but this may be just a tad over the top, even for us. Your kids’ names, ex-wives, your mom, hell even a picture of your dog are all ok as tatoos, but bacon?? Two femme fatales here in Austin for SXSW took the plunge and decided to forever etch their love of bacon into their flesh. There’s not much more one can say about this. We’re almost speechless at the apparent size of cajones on these ladies. Read the full details from the LA times blog here.