Screw the supermarket, make it yourself

I just recently made my first foray into the homemade bacon arena, having purchased uncured, unsmoked pork belly from a local farm. Being a typical guy, I didn’t bother with things like “instructions” or “procedure” and just proceeded to smoke the thawed belly in my charcoal smoker with a little pecan wood. Needless to say, hot smoking cooks the bacon, so I was “forced” to eat the whole lot lest it go to waste.
Of course, without the curing process, the smoke flavor was left on its own to carry the day so, while very good, the meat didn’t taste especially “bacon-y”. So next time, I’ll be following the steps found here, though I think I’ll be experimenting a bit more with flavors and curing times, etc.

Ahhh…the Porkgasm

Better than sex

Better than sex

What’s better than a real pig, smoked over a fire pit for 12 hours? Naturally, a large glob of various meats formed into the shape of a pig. Complete with organs and everything. The guys over at porktopia.com posted one awesome, albeit gnarly looking pork creation. This is probably one of the grossest looking, yet strangely appetizing things I’ve ever had the privilege to lay my eyes on. Click on through for the full description of how to make one, along with tons of pics. Happy Meating!

Get all the freak nasty details here.

Pancakons – Breakfast of Kings

The mighty Pancakon

The mighty Pancakon

For me Thursday is just the day that stands between me and Friday (which is the gateway to the weekend) that I just try to get through as fast as possible.  Usually, Thursday’s are very low-key and really nothing special.

Until this past Thursday.  That day I was greeted with a tasty and unexpected treat as I arrived at work in the morning.  Sitting on my desk was a small mini-muffin.  Usually I am very wary of unexpected food showing up at my desk first thing in the morning but as my mind tried to make sense of what I found, my nose began to pick up the delicious aroma of bacon.

Like most males I have a deep weakness for bacon.

So, I picked it up, looked it over, and discovered that indeed bacon was topping this little muffin.  It took me about two seconds to figure out that only one person would have come up with this unique bacon delivery system – themeatsweats.com founder Rocky B.

I was informed, by the genius himself, that what I was holding was a “Pancakon”.

What’s a Pancakon you ask?

A Pancakon is one part pancake, one part caramel icing with maple syrup topping, and one part applewood bacon crumbles.  All delivered in a mini-muffin cup for easy handling – especially for those people trying to make it to morning meetings and neglected breakfast.

How did it taste?

It was delicious.  It tasted like a regular full pancake breakfast with all the fixings, except it was portable and easy to eat on the go. A side benefit of the Pancakon was the great smell that it left in the air – as if you just woke up to your mom making you a hearty breakfast to start the day.

I give the Pancakon an enthusiastic “thumbs up”. Especially for those people on the go who don’t want to mess around with those cardboard tasting breakfast bars or the run-of-the-mill bagels, but would rather enjoy the taste of a complete breakfast like mom used to make.

My only gripe about the Pancakon – I only had one to try as all the other samples were gone by the time I returned from my meeting.

Hopefully Rocky will share his recipe for the Pancakon in a future post so that others may benefit from his tasty genius.

What?

You on point, Tip?

You on point, Tip?

In 1991 A Tribe Called Quest released their classic album The Low End Theory.  It’s a top notch record and all, but it’s a little light on the meat rhymes — so we gave the jam ‘What?’ some love…

What is a pig if it don’t taste awesome
What is Six if she don’t know Blossom
What’s Garfield without lasagna
What’s ice skating without Tonya
What’s Donner party when they eat their dead
What’s crawfish if you don’t suck head
What’s Hamburglar he my favorite crook
What’s eyeball soup giving you the look
What’s Boyardee if it ain’t Beefaroni
What’s the Rock cooking if it ain’t jabroni
What’s Hamburger Helper’s talking glove
What is peace when you’re out hunting dove
What’s a pig foot just fifteen cents
What’s a meat pie guv’nah – fifteen pence
What is Spiro Agnew pyro
What is gyro said like gyro
What is strikes without three tries
What’s Chevy Chase without lamb fries
What’s Sizzlelean ain’t got no grease
What’s a bear claw yum yum police
What is claws on Wolverine
What’s fajitas without some beans
What’s lunch loaf when it’s stuffed with olives
What is a stone crab doing clawless
What’s monkey brains if you’re not Short Round
What is a roast if it ain’t been crowned
What’s honeybees if they don’t got hives
What’s Top Chef when you pack your knives
What is weenies no one knows
What is weenie straight lips and assholes
What were grills before George Foreman
What was Utah before Mormon
What’s my steak when it’s still bleeding
That’s called mooing – what’s Dahmer chewing
What is a slaughter – cows and violence
What is bacon? Moment of silence
(…)
What’s W like weinerschnitz’
What’s pimp shit like fish and grits
What is a sausage from Vienna
What’s MTV and Brody Jenner
What’s chicken fried steak without some gristle
What’s fried bologna without that sizzle
What is marble that’s that fat
What’s a Dracula without a vampire bat
What is a meatloaf without getting seconds
What’s au jus – oh, essence
What is Hawaii if you don’t eat spam
What is a rack is a rack of lamb
What is ham without prosciutto
What is tripe without menudo
What’s Benihana if it ain’t four course
What’s so hungry I could eat a horse
Oooh ooh it’s like that you keep goin
Freak freak y’all cause you know that we showin
What to go what to go what to go what to go what
To go what to go what to go what to go WHAT!